it’s been so long since i wrote in here. i thought i forgot my email but right when i wrote it, it logged in. so today was fine, bought my graduation dress and heels. all i need is my swimsuit for the fieldtrip. i’m so tired. i did a lot of things today. my feet,but and shoulders hurt. right when i wake up i have to clean more. i just did the stupid dishes. yesterday was lovely. i got to stay up with my boyfriend talking to him through fb until 4 in the morning. until, my stupid mother decided to ruin it and told me to go to bed. but anyways my phone is connected again so i can talk to him without my mom bothering, through text. my little sister is sopuseably listening to asking alexandria. and she said she hated metal/techno. stupid right. i bought new headphones in go 1 dollar right? so when i came home from that long journey, i was so happy so open it. so when i tried it out, they were fucking low. and i “hate” headphones like this. but i don’t care. why? because when i go to school on monday i can use them without teachers knowing, sneaky right? hmm… i’m going to check my twitter.. lets see what’s been happening. haven’t been on there either. i went to two different mental hospitals in 1 month. ironic right? well it was because of that stupid bitch. ourhg, i’m not even going to talk about it. let me just chill out, and listen to music.
in reading right now sitting . conselar called me and asked if I felt alright . when I came back the classroom everyone stared at me .
came out of the hospital yesterday . whent to school today but only for like , half of it . felt so anxious and mad at everything and everyone . listening to music right now so i can fucking get this fucking bullshit off my head .
I have been in the hospital since yesterday . I really thank my friend karina , who told the conselar I needed help . now im stuck in the hospital-just ate breakfast and waiting for them to make a desission . I want to go home , but at the same time I dont want too . now I have like 3 security gards watching me , because they think im going to escape . the first day I came they checked if I had a razor with me . mom was crying because she wanted to go home so that clearly means she doesnt want to be with me . she left , gave me a kiss and told me that she’ll come back tomorrow . and I didnt believe her . dad came when she left , and he was watching over me , than I went to sleep . I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that he wasnt there , and it reminded me of haruhi when kyon was in the hospital . haruhi was sleeping on the floor - so I checked on the floor and father was there . so , I went to sleep . when I woke up I took a shower , and ate . now im laying down waiting whats going to happen next ..
everyday is getting worse , and worse . a fuck it . i’m going to wash my hair and then pass the straighgtner . i’m highlighting my hair with a dark , dark red that looks almost as dark brown . i haven’t cutted myself , but i’m so depressed at my self . i should of said no , and everything would of been FINE . but , nooo . now this dude is up my dick ( just to let you guys know i’m not a boy ) . i just wonder how tomorrow is going to be . i don’t want to see none of their fucking faces anymore . i want them two to burn , burn , burn and , fucking burn in , HELL .
going out with cristian .. not sure about this relationship though .. got to keep it to myself , or then my friends are going to be up my ass , saying negative stupid shit . going out with him makes me feel better , and it makes me take out the other kid off my head . so i took mcas , and i saw my name scribled in a desk ..
awake , just laying down in bed . need to get ready in a few for school . i’m not sure if mcas is today , i think its on wednesday , but i dont want to take it . my wrist hurts from yesterday , and i never responded to him .
